Dear Stella is an advice column written by Stella Goldberg – mother, wife, and all around dispenser of wisdom. You may send your questions to her at 1445 Jupiter Street, Queens, NY 10045.
Dear Stella,
What is the proper way to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? I know they say everybody’s a little bit Irish that day, but I’m Chinese. My husband is Thai. I just don’t feel the love of the Emerald Isle rising up within me. What should it do?
Erin Go Bragh?
Dear Erin,
I certainly know the feeling of trying to find the luck of the Irish within you. My Bubie was straight out of Russia and Morty’s family was chased out of one of those countries that doesn’t exist anymore. I don’t think there’s much Irish to be found running through these veins. But you know how I compensate? I make a reason to celebrate the date that has nothing to do with leprechauns or clovers. I find an excuse to celebrate. It’s fantastic! This year I have the perfect reason, too. My daughter Frannie is seeing the most wonderful boy. His name is Sol. He’s a lawyer. They’ve been dating for a few months now but she STILL refuses to bring him over to the house. “Frannie!” I says. “Frannie! Why won’t you bring Sol over to the house for dinner? I’ll make brisket and some of my famous cherry cheese blintzes!” “MA!” she says. “MA! This relationship has potential! I’m not bringing him over so you can show him pictures of me naked trying to take a bath in the toilet when I was 2!” Oh, dear readers. Do you know how my heart leapt when I heard her say that the relationship had POTENTIAL!! I just knew she’d settle down one day with a good boy. Someone like my son Jared. He’s a doctor, you know.
So I figured if she’s not willing to bring him to the house to spend some quality time with his future mother-in-law, then I would go over his head. To his own mother. Now dedicated readers may remember that his mother, Sylvia, and I haven’t always gotten along in the past. But we’re family now. We’ve got to let bygones be bygones. So I called her up. “Sylvia,” I says. “Sylvia now that your Sol and my Frannie are dating and eventually will be married, maybe we should get the families together. Maybe have a little St. Patrick’s Day party. We could get some clovers for the wall and those cookies with the icing from the grocery. I’ll make my famous cherry cheese blintzes and you could bring something as well. We’ll have a nice nosh. We’ll get to chat with the kids, it’ll be fun.” I swear I heard Sylvia mutter something about Frannie trying to get her claws into my lawyer son, but when I asked her what she said, she told me she was just telling her husband to turn down the tv. Likely story. “Listen,” I said, “I’ll set everything up. All you guys have to do is come over on St. Patty’s Day, bring something yummy – all your food is always so delish! – and that will be that.” See, it’s all about being proactive. Tomorrow is the big day, readers, so I’ll have to keep you updated on how we all get along. Maybe Sol will propose at the party – you know, do it in front of the entire family. Really get everybody involved. That would just be fabulous!
So, Erin, be proactive. Set up a party or something. If the Irish isn’t going to come to you, then you have to take yourself to it. Besides, who is going to turn down an excuse for a nosh!?!?
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