Dear Stella is an advice column written by Stella Goldberg – mother, wife, and all around dispenser of wisdom. You may send your questions to her at 1445 Jupiter Street, Queens, NY 10045.
Dear Stella,
I don’t know what to do. My daughter is seeing someone. Fantastic, right? Well, he’s not from money, not from college, not from this country, and not a Jew. I know these things shouldn’t bother me, but they do. What can I do? Do I get over it and accept it or do I guilt her into marrying a nice Jewish doctor?
Sincerely,
Not that There’s Anything Wrong with That in Detroit
Dear NTTAWWTID,
Oh, who hasn’t been there? I remember one year when little Frannie brought home some boy from her college. He was Asian! I thought I’d die! I mean, I love kung pow chicken as much as the next woman, though it does give me some wicked indigestion. I figured, though, that it was a phase and she’d move onto a nice Jewish doctor soon enough. Wouldn’t you know if they aren’t still together 3 years later?!? I’ve come to love him like my own son…ok, maybe not my own son, but close enough. Speaking of my son, did I tell you that he’s a doctor?! He is! Here, I’ve got a picture of him in his snappy white coat and everything! Anyway, I’ve come to love her boyfriend as much as the next. And now, not only that, I’m a little upset that he hasn’t bothered to put a ring on her finger. I mean, if they’re going to be together this long, they may as well make it legal and start making some grandbabies! So what if my daughter would be named Frannie Whong. I just have to accept that you love who you love. Though it wouldn’t hurt to love that person with a nice wedding upstate, maybe. Or maybe we could get the Plaza! Oh, a nice Manhattan wedding. Very classy. You know, we’ve been saving for her wedding since she was just a little girl. It’s going to be done right. Not like that affair Tillie Westenbaum put on a few years ago. I don’t want to say it was tacky, but I still get heartburn thinking about that chicken she served. And Jordan almonds?!? Who serves Jordan almonds these days? It was like walking back into a wedding in 1972.
Anyway, there are only so many handsome Jewish doctors to go around. I should know. My son, Jared, is one of them, and you should see the way the ladies chase after him. I hope he’ll settle down with a nice Jewish girl and start making some babies. But right now, I just have to accept that both my children will love who they love, and in encourage you to do the same. I mean, would you rather not have any grandchildren at all?!?
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