Dear Stella is an advice column written by Stella Goldberg – mother, wife, and all around dispenser of wisdom. You may send your questions to her at 1445 Jupiter Street, Queens, NY 10045.
Dear Stella,
Where is a good place to meet men? I have tried everything – work, the grocery, you name it. I just can’t seem to stumble across Mr. Right. What do I do?
Regards,
Only the Lonely
Dear Lonely,
If I had a dime for every time someone asked me this question! I know how hard it can be. The key is you have to put yourself out there around the people you want to meet. You don’t want to be like my daughter, Frannie. She went dipping her nib in the company ink, if you know what I’m saying. Which wouldn’t usually be a problem, but she worked in the construction industry. All you meet there are construction workers and Mexicans! I know we need them here to build our buildings, but I’d prefer if she found herself someone a little more…not Mexican. Someone more like Ida Crumper’s son, Jared. Jared Crumper! Doesn’t the name just roll off the tongue!?!? Well, I know Ida wanted Jared to be a doctor or maybe a lawyer, but he actually got into parking. Parking! Can you believe it?!?! Well, it turns out there’s a lot of money in parking! He’s got himself a new wife now and he can keep her good. And I know from good! What I wouldn’t give to have Frannie meet a nice Jared Crumper. But while we’re talking about dipping your nib in the company ink, if you are going to do that, you should get yourself a nice receptionist job at a doctor’s office. Or maybe get one of those fancy paralegal degrees they’re always advertising during Guiding Light. Then you could spend your days working around doctors or lawyers. Maybe find yourself a nice Jewish doctor, like my son, Jared. Unlike Ida Crumper’s Jared, my Jared IS a doctor. You should see the way the ladies throw themselves at him – it’s shameful. But can I blame them? He’s adorable!
Other places to meet nice men – hang out at the Kosher deli up on 47th. The men there all seem very respectable. And you know if he’s shopping there alone, he doesn’t have a wife. So maybe he’s shopping for more than roast beef, if you catch my drift. Also, check the singles night at the synagogue. Magda’s son met his wife there. He’s not a doctor like my Jared, but he’s nothing to sneeze at with his fancy investment banking and such. Also, take some classes at the New School – maybe an Indian cooking class. That food is so spicy! Oh, the indigestion! But for the kids, they don’t have the heartburn I get from that stuff. Then you can show him that you’re domestic. Just be sure to put yourself out there. And it wouldn’t hurt to show a little bosoms. Don’t give away the farm, just a little peek – it couldn’t hurt!
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